Am I Healty?

Today was my mandatory health check to be able to live in China. Mark and others had told me it was a horrible experience. He had heard a story at work about some one's wife almost being assaulted during her health check - so I was not looking forward to this at all. Of course some Chinese driver man came to pick me up in a weird van to drive me to the clinic. So off I go in this van with a man who speaks no English. After a forty-five minute ride we stop and pick up a girl on the side of the road. She says her name is Kiko and she will take me for the check-up. We arrive a few minutes later at this very old run down building with the words "Clinic" out front. In we go where there are a lot of other non-Chinese people with their Kiko's fighting for a spot in line. We push our way through with my passport and 4 additional photos to get a number (like at the DMV in NY). I wait for my number to be called. After they call me in I am asked to take off everything on top including hairpins(who actually wears hairpins?) and put on a cloth robe - then report to room 109. Now room 109 is called ENT. One guy sitting at a desk asks me to read the numbers in a color blind test, then cover one eye look in a mirror and tell him which way the E is facing. Then he says "How's your nose?" "Good- it works" I say. He pushes up on the tip and shines a flashlight in and says "Good". Done now room 110. In room 110 they take 2 vials of blood - not sure what they are checking, but OK. Done now room 108. Now I have to lay down on the table and an old woman uses an ultrasound machine and digs around on the sides of my ribs. She starts saying "Release, Release". I have no idea what she means to release so I start breathing heavy? She says "No  Release" as she pokes around my ribs - then finally done - room 107. Now step into the time machine for a chest x-ray and finally to room 105 for my electroshock therapy(no just kidding- but the machine the used felt like that). Some metal things on my ankles and wrists - then suction cups all over my chest. I guess this is their EKG machine. If this is where they are with their medicine, I pray to  God that none of us have any medical issue here. SCARY! They said in one week I will get the results of this comprehensive medical exam. HA! Maybe I won't be healthy enough to stay?